Donald Trump: You know and—
Unidentified voice: She used to be great. She’s still very beautiful.
Trump: I moved on her actually. You know she was down on Palm Beach. I moved on her and I failed. I’ll admit it. I did try and fuck her. She was married.
Unidentified voice: That’s huge news there.
Trump: No, no. Nancy. No this was— And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.’ I took her out furniture– I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.
Bush: Sheesh, your girl’s hot as shit. In the purple.
Bush: Yes. Yes, the Donald has scored!
Bush: Whoa, my man!
Unidentified voice: Wait, wait you’ve got to look at me when you get out and be like ... will you give me the thumbs up? You’ve got to put the thumbs up.
Trump: Look at you. You are a pussy.
Unidentified voice: You’ve got to get the thumbs up. You can’t be too happy, man.
Trump: Alright, you and I will walk down.
Trump: Maybe it’s a different one.
Bush: It better not be the publicist. No, it’s her. It’s her.
Trump: Yeah, that’s her, with the gold. I’ve got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. I just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.
Unidentified voice: Whatever you want.
Trump: Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.
[crosstalk and chuckling]
Unidentified voice: Yeah those legs, all I can see is the legs.
Trump: Oh, it looks good.
Unidentified voice: Come on, shorty.
Trump: Oh, nice legs, huh?
Bush: Oof, get out of the way, honey. Oh, that’s good legs. Go ahead.
Trump: It’s always good if you don’t fall out of the bus. Like Ford. Gerald Ford, remember?
Bush: Down below. Pull the handle.
Trump: Hello. How are you? Hi.
Arianne Zucker: Hi Mr. Trump. How are you? Pleasure to meet you.
Trump: Nice seeing you. Terrific, terrific. You know Billy Bush?
Bush: Hello, nice to see you. How are you doing, Arianne?
Zucker: I’m doing very well, thank you. [To Trump] Are you ready to be a soap star?
Trump: We’re ready, let’s go. Make me a soap star.
Bush: How about a little hug for the Donald? He just got off the bus.
Zucker: Would you like a little hug, darling?
Trump: Okay, absolutely. Melania said this was okay.
Bush: How about a little hug for the Bushy? I just got off the bus. There we go. Excellent. Well, you’ve got a nice co-star here.
Zucker: Yes. Absolutely.
Trump: Good. After you. Come on, Billy. Don’t be shy.
Bush: As soon as a beautiful woman shows up, he just, he takes off on me. This always happens.
Trump: Get over here Billy.
Zucker: I’m sorry, come here.
Bush: Let the little guy in here, come on.
Zucker: Yeah, let the little guy in. How you feel now? Better?
Bush: It’s hard to walk next to a guy like this.
Zucker: I should actually be in the middle.
Bush: Yeah, you get in the middle. There we go.
Trump: Good, that’s better.
Zucker: This is much better. This is—
Trump: That’s better.
Bush: Now, if you had to choose, honestly, between one of us: me or the Donald? Who would it be?
Trump: I don’t know, that’s tough competition.
Zucker: That’s some pressure right there.
Bush: Seriously, you had to take one of us as a date.
Zucker: I have to take the 5th on that one.
Zucker: Yup. I’ll take both.
Trump: Which way?
Zucker: Make a right. Here we go. [inaudible]
Bush: Here he goes. I’m going to leave you here. Give me my microphone.
Trump: Okay okay. Oh, you’re finished?
Bush: You’re my man. Yeah.
Trump: Oh good.
Bush: I’m going to go do our show.
Zucker: Oh, you want to reset? Okay.